Did you ever feel like you can't get rid of some feelings?
I mean...It seems to me that there are some things you just can't get passed to. Maybe because they will be there forever, or maybe because we are afraid of letting them go \when we know what those feelings mean to us.
Maybe I'm not being very clear here, so let me try to explain it: I have feelings that I don't want to overcome, like feelings I have for some people. But here is the funny part...some of them I wish could stay as strong as they used to, but I happen not to feel that way anymore, and some feelings are just tattooed in me, but it shouldn't be cuz they will lead nowhere. It meant so much to me all the things that that feeling...that Love brought on, it totally made me feel special when I most needed, and all the awesome memories it carries. I really believe that ANYTHING can happen, but right there, on that feeling is where I stopped believing, that is where the border line of my Faith is.
Sometimes I just wish life was easier! A great friend of mine keeps telling me that if life were that easy, it wouldn't be as fun and exciting. But sometimes you try your hardest and things just don't work out, and some people never make a freaking effort to do anything and have it all just as easy as you get screwed up. And that is where life starts getting tiring!
My head is so messed up right now...I really don't know what the heck I'm gonna do...and the more I keep searching for answers, more freaking questions pops up in my head. I totally feel like in a movie...you know? I even got a sound track...a song for each problem/thought/love I have. I'm sure I ain't the only one to feel that way, but most people just go with the flow. I can't do that...I need to know where my life is heading to, I need to know what the right answer is.
Boy...I miss my childhood! when all my concerns were regarding what I would get for Christmas, or being anxious about the weekend, hoping to go to my grandma's so I could see my cousins and eat some pasta. Or hoping July vacation would came faster, and December too, to get my grades and If I did alright my mom would buy me "Almanaque de ferias da Monica", and feeling good about myself when my older cousins paid me any attention, having "grown ups conversation" [ note: writing in English and listening to Ze Ramalho...go figure...].
Life was easy, I remember wanting to grow up fast so I could drive....Now I wish I could have that type of life again. Job, College, car, relationships, money, love....That is TOO MUCH!
Having problems away from home ( by problems I mean this kind of life issues, nothing serious) is a lot easier when you are abroad...haha...seriously...Because at least when shit happens, you get your few dollars and go to the closest shopping mall and shop your problems away! Nothing that a new pair of shoes or one of those very cheap electronics stuff can't solve! Works better than pills. lol. When you're in your hometown, nothing is new, nothing is surprising, and you don't get any dollars to spend.
The beauty of living abroad is that no matter how long you have been there, you ALWAYS find something that amazes you! An example? A few months back, I went fishing with my ex-BF, and we made a quick stop at the gas station, I went for some beers...when for my surprise he went for the LIVE BAIT MACHINE! Ya know? Just like those Candy machines, or soda machines that you put in a few coins, press a couple of buttons and you get your can of live worms with the dirt! Americans love making life easier!The Bait Machine
So girls in America, the solution for your problems can be in the Best Buy store near you. (y)
There is one thing I have to take my hat off to Brazilian people: our national channels, all they show is bad shit! Murders, Robbery, corruption, high taxes, traffic jam, floods, almost no good news. The soap operas? even worse! They don't teach people anything but how to be a jerk with other people and make you forget that you actually have to think about things that really concerns your life and shit. But even so, Brazilian people are happy! We live in a God Damn battle field and we live life with less stress than Americans do.
As far as comedy in Brazilian TV...oh gosh...gross! Panico people? REALLY? CQC is alright, but Panico is just despicable!
Am sure some will say that American TV shows are awful too, like a lot of murders and shit, but they've got a lot of interesting things going on, you can actually learn a lot of good stuff there. Now If you're not watching "Telecurso 2000" you probably ain't learning much with the TV on.
Okay ppl...I know I am exaggerating here...lol. Sorry.
Have I written too much? I guess so.
Just FYI- I wrote all of this because I needed to let it all out, guess my friends are tired of listening to my complaints, and I am tired of listening to the same old response from them.
Also I wrote all in English because I need to practice it, so please forgive me if I wrote something wrong. :P
That's all Folks!